Meet Larry. As best as I can remember it, it went like this:
"Do you like jokes? I got one for you...
"So this couple, they're in their 90s. They're in great health, and they decide to take a vacation. They're driving down the highway, and out of nowhere, BAM! Hit by a semi truck. So they get up to St. Peter's gates and Peter says, 'Welcome! Here in Heaven you'll have everything you wanted on Earth, and best of all, it's all free.'
"He shows them their new home. It's beautiful. Big and comfortable. A swimming pool. The old man says, 'I can't believe this. It can't be true.' St. Peter says, 'Oh, but it is! And it's all free!'
"Peter shows them the golf course, a passion of the old man's. 'It changes every day, so you'll never get tired of it.'
"Peter then takes them out for supper. A meal fit for a king. 'And it's all free!' says Peter.
"The old man looks at his wife. 'I can't believe it,' he says, 'I really can't believe it. It really is Heaven. And to think that I could have been here 30 years sooner if you hadn't fed me those damn bran muffins all these years!'"
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